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Tips for getting along when college grads move back home

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NEW YORK (AP) — A shaky economy. Overwhelming student debt. Few job prospects. Some recent college graduates have a burdensome mountain of reasons to move back home. For others, the choice may be easy as they seek to save money, or desire the physical and emotional comforts of family.

But the familiar may feel different with the changing dynamics that come with growing up. One thing is certain: If you’re a new grad or the parents of one, you’re not alone in navigating new terrain.

Maturity and respect among all parties is a good place to start before those packing boxes arrive. So is having a clear path forward. Consider these tips for making it all work.

Set clear expectations early

Richard Ramos, a parenting trainer and author of “Parents on a Mission,” urges parents and their young adult children to break from their traditional roles.

For parents, shift from authority to ally.

“You’re no longer parenting a teenager. You’re relating to an emerging adult. Move from ‘manager’ to ‘mentor.’ Offer guidance, not control. Maintain your home as a launchpad, not a landing strip for them to get too comfortable in,” he says.

Grads, come home with humility.

“You may have a degree, but you’re still under your parents’ roof,” Ramos says. “Show appreciation. Contribute to the household. Asking before assuming you can simply take shows your growth as a young adult. Honor the space they’ve made for you.”

Drill down to specifics

As a counselor and parent, Veronica Lichtenstein knows firsthand what Ramos means. Her 26-year-old son has been living at home for two years since graduation to save money for his first house.

“I’ve learned that clear, collaborative boundaries are the foundation of harmony,” she says.

Lichtenstein has lots of practical advice, starting with a “living contract” created cooperatively.

“His proposed terms became the starting point for negotiation. This empowered him to take ownership while ensuring mutual respect. The final signed agreement covered everything from chores to quiet hours,” she says.

Common areas must be left clean, for example, and advance notice is required if he plans group gatherings.

“Emphasize that this is a temporary, goal-oriented arrangement,” Lichtenstein says. By that, she means: “We’re happy to support you for 12 months while you save X dollars.”

Regular check-ins keep everyone accountable.

Crystalize chores and shared resources

Amy McCready is the founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and author of “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic — A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.”

She suggests setting expectations when it comes to shared resources.

“If they’ll be driving your vehicle, be clear about when it’s available, who pays for gas or maintenance, and what responsibilities go with the privilege,” McCready says. “Use ‘when-then’ phrasing to keep things respectful and direct: When your responsibilities are done, then the car is available.”

If conflict arises, it’s often because everyone reverts to old roles and old rules, she says. “Pause and ask, ‘Are we interacting like we did when they were 17?’”

Then reset with intention.

What about special guests?

Parents need to decide if conjugal visits for resident adult children are something they’re comfortable with. Such overnight visits with romantic partners can be tricky, McCready notes.

“If overnight visits aren’t something you’re OK with, it’s completely appropriate to set that boundary,” she says. “You might say, ‘We’re so glad you’re here, and we want everyone to feel comfortable. For us, that means no overnight guests while you’re living at home.’”

Parents can ask to be told ahead of time if their grad plans to sleep elsewhere.

Parents, be careful not to judge

Eric Wood, director of the Counseling & Mental Health Center at Texas Christian University, says parents should check in on their frustrations over the new living scenario. Their graduate might feel embarrassed and worry that they’re a burden.

“Don’t judge, especially with the current job market and recent global events. It’s important not to be critical of a graduate who must return home,” he says. “Just like we advise incoming college students not to rush into a certain academic major, it’s more important not to rush into an entry career position. Establishing a solid trajectory for a successful and happy career is the priority.”

Wood said the new mantra for parents should be: Support, but don’t problem solve when it comes to fully launching a grad.

“It’s important for the parent or family member not to act as if they are trying to solve a problem,” he says. “Doing so will only send a message that the graduate is a problem and could lead to conflicts.”



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Faith-based camps like those hit by Texas floods are rite of passage for many

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Texas’ catastrophic flooding hit faith-based summer camps especially hard, and the heartbreak is sweeping across the country where similar camps mark a rite of passage and a crucial faith experience for millions of children and teens.

“Camp is such a unique experience that you just instantly empathize,” said Rachael Botting of the tragedy that struck Camp Mystic, the century-old all-girls Christian summer camp where at least 27 people were killed. A search was underway for more than 160 missing people in the area filled with youth camps as the overall death toll passed 100 on Tuesday.

Botting, a former Christian camp counselor, is a Wheaton College expert on the role camp plays in young people’s faith formation. “I do plan to send my boys to Christian summer camps. It is a nonnegotiable for us,” added the mother of three children under 4.

Generations of parents and children have felt the same about the approximately 3,000 faith-based summer camps across the country.

That is because for many campers, and young camp counselors, they are crucial independence milestones — the first time away from family or with a job away from home, said Robert Lubeznik-Warner, a University of Utah youth development researcher.

Experts say camps offer the opportunity to try skills and social situations for the first time while developing a stronger sense of self — and to do so in the safety of communities sharing the same values.

Camp rules: Do good and keep the faith

After the floodwaters rampaged through Camp Mystic, authorities and families have been combing through the wreckage strewed between the cabins and the riverbank.

On Sunday, a man there carried a wood sign similar to those seen hanging outside the door of several buildings. It read: “Do Good. Do No Harm. Keep Falling In Love With Jesus.”

For generations, these Texas campers have been challenged to master quintessential summer activities from crafts to swimming while also growing in spiritual practices. Campers and counselors shared devotionals after breakfast, before bed and on Sunday mornings along the banks of the Guadalupe River, according to Camp Mystic’s brochure and website. They sang songs, listened to Scripture and attended Bible studies, too.

How big of a role faith has in the camp experience varies, Botting said. There are Christian camps where even canoeing outings are discussed as metaphors for spiritual journeys, others that aim to insert more religious activities like reading the Bible into children’s routines, and some that simply seek to give people a chance to encounter Jesus.

The religious emphasis also varies at Jewish camps, which span traditions from Orthodox to Reform. Activities range from daily Torah readings to yoga, said Jamie Simon, who leads the Foundation for Jewish Camp. The group supports 300 camps across North America, with about 200,000 young people involved this summer alone.

What they all have in common is a focus on building self-esteem as well as positive Jewish communities and identities — all particularly important as many struggle with antisemitism as well as the loneliness and mental health barriers common across all youth, Simon said.

At Seneca Hills Bible Camp and Retreat Center in Pennsylvania, there is archery, basketball and volleyball for summer campers, but also daily chapel, listening to missionaries and taking part in Bible study or hearing a Bible story depending on their age, which ranges from 5 to 18-year-olds.

“There’s a whole host of activities, but really the focus for camp is building relationships with one another and encouraging the kids’ relationships with God,” said camp executive director Lindon Fowler.

For many, participating in the same summer camp is also a generational tradition. Children are sent to the same place as their parents and grandparents to be around people who share the same value system in ways they can’t often experience in their local communities.

A taste of faith, wilderness and independence for more than two centuries

Because of their emphasis on independence and spending time away from family, summer camps in general have been especially popular in North America, Lubeznik-Warner said.

In the United States, faith-based summer camps date back to two parallel movements in the 19th century — the revivalist religious gatherings in tents and the “fresh-air movement” after the industrial revolution — and boomed after World War II, Botting said.

Particularly since the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns, as questions about children’s dependence on technology have surged, interest has grown in summer camps as “places where kids can really unplug, where kids can be kids,” Botting said.

Many parents like that camp can disconnect their children from their devices.

“We’re interested in campers hearing similar messages that they’re going to get at home or in their church or their faith communities,” Fowler said. He added: “I think they can hear … the meaning of things more clearly while they’re at camp” and away from distractions.

For Rob Ribbe, who teaches outdoors leadership at Wheaton College’s divinity school, all the elements of camp have biblical resonance.

“God uses times away, in community, often in creation … as a way to shape and form us, and help us to know him,” Ribbe said.

Summer camp challenges: Safety protocols and determination

There are faith-related challenges, too. As children explore their identities and establish bonds outside their families, many programs have been wrestling with how to strike a balance between holding on to their denominations’ teachings while remaining welcoming, especially on issues of gender and sexuality, Botting said.

Rising costs are also a pressing issue. Historically, camps have been particularly popular among middle to upper-income families who can afford fees in the thousands of dollars for residential camps.

And then there is safety — whether in terms of potential abuse, with many church denominations marred by recent scandals, or the inherent risks of the outdoors. In Texas’ case, controversy is mounting over preparedness and official alerts for the natural disaster.

Every summer, hundreds of thousands of parents trust Brad Barnett and his team to keep their children safe — physically and spiritually — at the dozens of summer camps run by Lifeway Christian Resources.

Barnett, director of camp ministry, said already his staff has shared personal connections to Camp Mystic: One staff member’s daughter was an alum; another’s went to the same day camp with a girl who died in the flood; and a former staff member taught at the high school of a counselor who died.

But the tragedy is also informing their work as they provide yet another week of Christian summer camp experiences for children across the country.

“That’s the punch in the gut for us,” he said. “We know that there’s an implicit promise that we’re going to keep your kid safe, and so to not be able to deliver on that and the loss of life, it’s just so tragic and felt by so many.”

Experts say camp staff are likely to double down on best practices to respond to emergencies and keep their campers safe in the aftermath of the Texas floods.

“It’s, truly, truly heartbreaking for the whole community of Christian camping,” said Gregg Hunter, president of Christian Camp and Conference Association, which serves about 850 member camps catering to about 7 million campers a year.

But the positive and often lifelong impacts on children’s confidence and faith identity are so powerful that many leaders expressed hope the tragedy wouldn’t discourage children from trying it.

“It’s where my life took a dramatic turn from being a young, obnoxious, rebellious teenager,” Hunter said. “My camp experience introduced me to so many things, including to my faith, an opportunity, an option to enter into a relationship with God.”

Simon, a former camper and camp leader, said she is happy her son is currently at camp — even though there is a river by it.

“I wouldn’t want him to be anywhere else,” she said.

___

Associated Press writers Jim Vertuno and Holly Meyer contributed.

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Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.



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Armani couture channels black as maestro misses Paris bow for 1st time, days from 91st birthday

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PARIS (AP) — Armani Privé opened Tuesday under an unmistakable shadow. For the first time in the 20-year history of his couture house, Giorgio Armani was not present in Paris to take his bow.

Days from his 91st birthday and following doctors’ advice after a recent hospital stay, Armani reportedly oversaw the Paris couture week show remotely from home, a moment of absence that lands heavily for a designer who has shaped every one of his brand’s collections since its founding.

The show’s theme, “Seductive Black,” played out with literal and symbolic force on the runway: black in myriad forms, from liquid velvet and lacquered silk to pavé crystals and flashes of gold. Even the models’ makeup followed suit, rendered in shades of gray.

For some in the front row, the relentless palette felt pointed. Guests quietly wondered if the choice of black was a coded message from the maestro himself.

Armani missed Milan, too

This is not the first major show Armani has missed this season. Just weeks ago, he was forced to sit out Milan Fashion Week for the first time in the label’s history, following a brief hospitalization.

According to the brand, the absence was a precaution to save energy for his Paris couture appearance.

For decades, Armani — often referred to as “Re Giorgio,” or King George, in Italy — has been both the creative and business force behind one of fashion’s last great independent empires.

The Tuesday collection balanced tension and control. After an uncertain start, including velvet jodhpurs and stark crystalline seams, Armani’s familiar codes quickly emerged: tuxedo jackets transformed into evening gowns with plunging lapels and floating bow ties, tailored blazers worn on bare skin and military-inspired equestrian jackets paired with slim velvet pants.

Bursts of embroidery and colored feathers provided a balance from the monochrome.

A living fashion ma

estro

Armani’s recent absences have sent ripples through the industry. In a landscape dominated by conglomerates like LVMH and Kering, Armani remains the sole shareholder of his company, personally overseeing every collection for nearly 50 years. In 2024, Armani Group reported revenues of $2.5 billion, while Giorgio Armani’s personal fortune is estimated at $11–13 billion — even as the global luxury market faces headwinds.

Armani is widely credited with redefining men’s and women’s tailoring, pioneering gender-fluidity in fashion, and inventing celebrity red-carpet dressing, from Julia Roberts to Cate Blanchett. Yet the designer himself has acknowledged that age is now a reality to deal with and that pulling back could be a necessity.

Whether the monochrome collection was a deliberate metaphor or simply a showcase of discipline, “Seductive Black” felt personal — both a mood and a message, perhaps an understated nod to a master whose presence, even in absence, remains absolute. As the show closed, the final bow belonged to the models alone. But Armani’s vision — uncompromising and unmistakably his — filled the room.



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Stéphane Rolland’s Paris couture show is filled with space-age glamor

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PARIS (AP) — Stéphane Rolland went back to what he does best on Tuesday: unadulterated couture. This season at Paris Couture Week, Rolland stripped away gimmicks and let the clothes do the talking, unveiling a dazzling palette of ivory, black, and red — with giant spangles shimmering like stardust or cosmic fish scales.

A live string orchestra set the mood as Rolland’s signature silhouettes reshaped the female form: mermaid gowns hugged the body, giant tulle trains trailed behind, and severe white dresses with razor-sharp shoulders brought a surreal, intergalactic edge. Space-age references ran throughout, from pointy shoulders to jewels worn as talismans — adorned on gowns or set on the forehead like interplanetary insignia.

It marked a confident return to classic Rolland after recent seasons experimenting with format and mood. Last year, Rolland broke with tradition, staging a collaborative, student-led show inspired by the serenity of the desert. But on Tuesday, the focus was undiluted couture, delivered with maximum impact.

A celebrity favorite — counting Kim Kardashian and Cardi B among his fans — Rolland is one of Paris fashion’s last couture independents. His trademark mix of sculptural tailoring, high drama, and Parisian mystique was on full display, proving that sometimes, the boldest move is simply perfecting your own signature.



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