NEW YORK (AP) — Robbie Randolph is a real estate agent and interior designer for the rich, yet even he’s not immune from the anxiety of “house shame.”

That’s the judged, bullied, defeated feeling you can get when Pinterest-perfect syndrome takes over, either in our own minds thanks to social media or fed by the side eye of a friend with impeccable digs.

House shame can make you reluctant to invite people over, and in some cases lead to isolation and despair.

“House shaming is actually how designers kind of get business,” Randolph said. “A client will go over to another home that’s professionally designed and they’ll be like, ‘Oh my gosh, my house isn’t that nice.’ They then seek out an interior designer.”

Randolph, in Greenville, South Carolina, said interior designers themselves are just as vulnerable. So are exhausted parents with young children, people who just don’t love to clean, those who can’t afford home updates, or folks who really have a lot of books and/or love collectibles.

“I’ll do an Instagram post of an amazing, immaculately decorated house and I go, ‘Wow, my house stinks,’” said Randolph. “And everyone walks into my home and tells me how amazing it is. At the end of the day, I’m still human and I still get trapped by the devil of comparison.”

Remembering one’s humanity in a world where true perfection is elusive goes a long way, he and other experts noted.

The scary side of house shame

Not wanting to entertain at home can simply mean spending time together elsewhere, in restaurants, at the theater or in the homes of others, for instance. But it can also bring on hoarding or other traumatizing behaviors like losing the will to clean.

“I have a friend who refuses to have people over because she’s so ashamed of her house,” Randolph said.

His friend didn’t have the money or the will to fix up the house after her abusive husband moved out.

“I think house shaming is about comparison, but it can also be about a person’s own struggles,” he said.

Speaking of Martha Stewart …

Barbara Fight was a TV producer for Martha Stewart for 12 years before going into home organizing in New York. She said house shame got way worse with the rise of social media and its idealized depictions of homes most people can’t afford or otherwise will never have.

But there are lots of easy, inexpensive ways people can help themselves feel better about their living spaces if they so choose.

The issue is often just too much stuff. She sees a lot of homes with row upon overlapping row of framed photos in ancient (not in a good way) frames. She suggests paring them down to the bare minimum and stashing the rest in a decorative box that can be pulled out for perusal.

Like Randolph, Fight has seen it all: People overloaded with things they’ve inherited from dead relatives. A young woman who wouldn’t bring her fiancé to her parents’ house, “because it’s such a mess.”

Fight suggests: “Take away a third of what’s out.” One client, she said, “had this long, narrow, beautiful table in her living room just filled with stuff. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in. I said to her, ‘It’s going to take me 15 minutes to make this look Instagram-worthy.’ About five pieces stayed on there. About 10 things were thrown out, and we found a different place for the rest.”

Does changing your home feel overwhelming?

Jamila Musayeva is the author of “The Art of Entertaining at Home” and hosts a lifestyle YouTube channel with over 1 million subscribers. She’s also an etiquette coach.

“A home doesn’t have to be perfect to be welcoming,” she said. “It simply has to feel cared for. If you’re worried about how your space might be perceived, start by focusing on what you can control.”

That could mean freshening up an entrance with a lit candle and a small flower arrangement to shift the mood for guests.

“Think ahead about the rooms your guests will actually see. Give those areas some attention rather than overwhelming yourself with the whole house. A clean bathroom with a fresh hand towel, good lighting in the living room and somewhere cozy to sit go much further than expensive décor,” Musayeva said.

Where the memories are made

Wendy Trunz, co-owner of the Long Island home organizing company Jane’s Addiction Organization, said she grew up in the smallest house in her family’s circle of friends and family. Now, with a husband and two kids, she lives in the smallest house among her neighbors and loved ones.

“My mom’s door was always open. Their table always had an extra seat. You just knocked and came in, and my mom just believed the more the merrier, this is where the memories are made and don’t mind the mess. And there’s something great about that,” she said.

Trunz notes that along with social media, the COVID pandemic contributed to house shame by sending millions of people home.

“Even now, five years later, we’re going in and people are still not eating at their dining room tables and not having people over,” she said. “Their husband is still sitting there working and it’s covered with stuff. We come in and clear that table and they call us in tears because for the first time they ate as a family around their dining room table again and not at the counter. It’s amazing. It’s amazing.”

Trunz had a easy solution for a client who had a stuffed front hall closet and felt she couldn’t accommodate the coats of guests.

“We just bought them a rolling rack, as if it’s a fancy thing. Nobody’s going to open the closet,” she said.

And if someone does house-shame you, there’s another easy solution, she said. One of her best friends is a teacher who invited teacher friends over for a meal and made her favorite tuna fish, choosing to focus on the magic of gathering rather than the toil of preparation.

“And one person in the group kept pointing out the fact that she only had one bathroom, and how did she live like that. I asked my friend, ‘What are you going to do about that?’ And she said, ‘You just decide not to have that person over.’ It can be that simple.”

Grant Magdanz, who uses Instagram to chronicle Los Angeles life living with his grandmother, has racked up about half a million likes for a video he posted last September showing off their decades-old furniture, mismatched cups and cluttered dining table.

“Not everyone’s life is themed, curated and made for social media,” a scroll on the video said. “In fact, most people’s aren’t. And we’re happy all the same.”

Hot cross buns are an Easter specialty with a light, enriched crumb that’s studded with currants and flavored with a gentle mix of warm spices and a hint of citrus. While some versions are drizzled with icing, we prefer a traditional semi-sweet, flour-based “cross” etched across the top.

This recipe from our book “ Milk Street Bakes ” mostly sticks to tradition but amps up the flavor. We enrich the dough with tangy buttermilk instead of regular milk, along with orange zest and a little Lyle’s Golden Syrup for its bittersweet caramel notes. Lyle’s Golden Syrup is an amber-hued sweetener common to the U.K.; mild clover honey works equally well if you can’t find the iconic green can of syrup.

We plump the currants in bourbon, which enhances the flavors in the spice mix, then use the currant-flavored bourbon to make a shiny glaze.

The work is spread over a couple days so the buns can be baked and served for breakfast or brunch. If you wish to bake the buns the same day, after shaping them, let them rise at room temperature until just shy of doubled, about an hour. Halfway into rising, heat the oven and prepare the egg wash and piping mixture. Once doubled, brush the buns with egg wash and pipe on the crosses, then bake and glaze as directed. Store extra buns in an airtight container up to three days; rewarm wrapped in foil in a 300°F oven for 10 to 15 minutes.

Don’t heat the buttermilk to bring it to room temperature. Buttermilk curdles easily; it’s best to let it stand at room temperature. And don’t forget to pat the currants dry after draining their soaking liquid. Additional moisture can make the rather sticky dough difficult to handle when shaping.

Hot Cross Buns

Start to finish: 13 hours (1¼ hours active), plus cooling

Makes 12 buns

Ingredients:

For the dough:

93 grams (⅔ cup) dried currants

⅓ cup bourbon

1 cup buttermilk, room temperature

1 large egg, plus 1 large egg yolk

3 tablespoons Lyle’s Golden Syrup (see headnote) or honey

1 tablespoon grated orange zest

411 grams (3 cups) bread flour, plus more for dusting

2¼ teaspoons instant yeast

¾ teaspoon table salt

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

¼ teaspoon ground allspice

¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

57 grams (4 tablespoons) salted butter, cut into 4 pieces, room temperature

__

For the egg wash and piping mixture:

1 large egg

34 grams (¼ cup) bread flour

__ For the glaze:

Bourbon, as needed

2 tablespoons Lyle’s Golden Syrup or honey

Instructions:

To make the dough, in a small microwave-safe bowl, stir the currants and bourbon. Microwave, uncovered, on high until warm, about 30 seconds, stirring once. Stir again, then set aside until plump, about 15 minutes. Drain in a fine-mesh strainer set over a small bowl; reserve the liquid. Turn the currants onto a paper towel-lined plate and pat dry; set aside.

In a 2-cup liquid measuring cup or small bowl, whisk the buttermilk, whole egg, egg yolk, golden syrup and orange zest. In a stand mixer with the dough hook, mix the flour, yeast, salt, cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg on low until combined, about 20 seconds. With the mixer running, add the buttermilk mixture; mix until a shaggy dough forms, about 45 seconds. Increase to medium-low and knead until sticky and elastic, 8 to 10 minutes; if the dough climbs up the hook, occasionally push it off.

With the mixer running on medium-low, add the butter 1 piece at a time, mixing until almost fully incorporated, about 30 seconds; scrape the bowl as needed. Knead on medium-low until shiny and once again elastic, 3 to 5 minutes. Scrape the dough off the hook. With the mixer running on medium-low, add the currants in 2 batches. Knead until distributed throughout the dough, 1 to 2 minutes. Detach the bowl from the mixer and use a silicone spatula to scrape the bowl and gather the dough at the center. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until doubled, 1 to 1½ hours.

Meanwhile, mist a 9-by-13-inch baking pan or baking dish with cooking spray. Line the pan with a 12-by-16-inch piece of parchment positioned so the excess overhangs the pan’s long sides. Mist the parchment with cooking spray; set aside.

When the dough has doubled, lightly flour the counter and turn the dough out onto it. Divide into 12 portions, each about 77 grams (2½ ounces). Form each into a taut ball by rolling it against the counter in a circular motion under a cupped hand. Place seam-side down in the prepared pan, arranging them in 3 rows of 4. Mist a sheet of plastic wrap with cooking spray and drape over the pan, then cover loosely with a kitchen towel. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours or up to 24 hours.

About 2 hours before you are ready to bake, remove the buns from the refrigerator. Let stand at room temperature, covered, until almost doubled, 1½ to 2 hours.

About 1 hour into rising, in a small bowl, beat the egg for the wash until well combined; set aside. In another small bowl, combine the flour and 2½ tablespoons water; whisk until smooth. The mixture should form a thick paste that falls slowly from the whisk and mounds on itself in the bowl; if too thick, whisk in more water a few drops at a time. Transfer to a quart-size, zip-close bag. Press out the air and push the mixture to one corner; twist the bag to keep the batter contained in the corner; set aside. Heat the oven to 350°F with a rack in the middle position.

When the buns have doubled, brush them with egg wash (you will not need to use all of the egg). With the piping mixture still pushed to the corner of the bag, use scissors to snip off ⅛ to ¼ inch from the tip of the bag. Pipe a continuous line across the center of each row of buns, then pipe a continuous line down the center of each column of buns, creating a cross on the center of each bun. Bake until the buns are deep golden brown, 30 to 35 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the glaze. Measure the bourbon reserved from soaking the currants, then supplement with additional bourbon to total 3 tablespoons. In a small saucepan, combine the bourbon and syrup. Simmer over medium, stirring, until lightly syrupy and reduced to about 3 tablespoons, about 2 minutes; set aside off heat.

When the buns are done, set the pan on a wire rack and immediately brush with the glaze. Cool for 10 minutes. Using the parchment sling, lift the buns from the pan and set directly on the rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

SANTIAGO, Chile (AP) — Some 110 years have passed since the business began, but passersby, tourists, celebrities and even presidents still gravitate to this 19th-century mansion nestled in the heart of Santiago, Chile. Behind discreet gray doors, visitors find racks of hats — black bowlers, safari styles, top hats and close-fitting cloth caps once worn by troops.

The musty store, called Where the Monkey Hits, is a surprising fashion hotspot in modern-day Chile given its tradition, claiming to be the oldest hat maker in South America.

The shop sees the hat as much a relic of Chile’s past as it is an accessory. It recently reopened after a long restoration and now hosts a modest museum showcasing other 19th-century treasures like opulent chandeliers and neoclassical furniture.

The artifacts tell the story of the imported European fashions of that era as immigrants crossed oceans to try their luck on the distant Pacific coast. Exhausted and full of hope, Spanish, Italian, French and German workers poured out of ships and trains, into the pulsing streets of a nascent Santiago.

“It was like what our airports are today,” store owner Roberto Lasen, a third-generation Spanish immigrant, told The Associated Press, gesturing toward the capital’s main avenue, which has recently seen businesses shutter as consumers flock to shopping malls. “The entire flow of foreigners entered through this street.”